A Plan to Scare Poor People and Measure How Much They Pee
| drew toothpaste | Oct 7, 2019 | 34 | 16 |
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Natalie Dee & Drew present to you the bizarre story of Mothman, the legendary West-Virginia-based creature that might be real. Or not real. Maybe he’s real, but constructed by the CIA. We expose the facts, explore all of these theories, and more, right here, right now.
Here’s an illustration of M-Man himself, as drawn by ???? in the year ???? (see, we told you it was mysterious.)
It’s The Smiling Man, aka Indrid Cold, as drawn by someone who saw him, supposedly!
Our friend Elissa, who you’ve heard on our Cemetery and Haunted Prison episodes, took these photos (above) in the Mothman Museum in Point Pleasant, WV. The actual watch and chapstick from the movie Mothman Prophecies! A letter from a Kennedy! And a very nicely made Mothman quilt. It’s the largest collection of Mothman memorabilia in the world.
Want to hear the twenty-plus subscriber-only episodes of Garbage Brain University? Here’s the button you gotta hit:
Subscribers! Have you been to Point Pleasant? Seen Mothman? Or Indrid Cold? Or another mysterious Appalachian creature or person? Do you want to? Leave us a comment, and read what other Garbage Brain Geniuses have to say:
You can also listen to Garbage Brain University on Spotify, iTunes, and/or Stitcher if you don’t already! And thanks again to Substack for our podcast/newsletter setup, and to The Melvins for our theme song, “Electric Flower,” used with permission.
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i think you might be underestimating geese. i'm sure you could murder a goose if your life depended on it, but it would probably be harder than you think for 4 main reasons: 1) they're pretty damn big. canada geese apparently max out at about 11 lbs, which doesn't seem big compared to, say, a dog, but they're all lean mass, and you have to also factor in wingspan, which makes them bigger and more intimidating. 2) they have sick ass tongues that are all spiky and gross, and they always stick them out when they hiss. 3) they are fearless, and have nothing to lose. they won't hesitate to charge, no matter who you are or what you're armed with. they hate everyone and everything, including other geese, and probably themselves. they literally live for being aggressive assholes all day. 4) unlike some other aggressive birds, they are good at flying. if a goose really wants to fuck you up, there's no way you can escape on foot. you'd better hope you land your first punch, or that goose is going to fly up in your face and stick its nasty tongue in your eye or some shit. also bonus reason 5) they shit everywhere, so when you're in goose territory, if you have to run away or if you happen to trip and fall, you are going to have so much goose shit on you, which is pretty gross.
and old friend had a crazy uncle from far south ohio. When i met him he claimed he saw the mothman in the Ironton area. he also claimed he'd been repeatedly abducted by aliens, and had seen the holy grail, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯